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| well here i am on my xanga which i haven't posted anything on for the longest time...omg... i think it all started to slow down when i went to LA for a week. then a couple days later i ended iup going down to san diego, and a lot of travel was involved. just last weekend i was in riverside and costa mesa. it was nice to see all my VUSC friends again. i really enjoyed myself there. everything felt so normal, it didn't even feel like i was gon or anything. my friends and i just picked up were we left off. it was an awsome time. but i have been traveling a lot lately , thats no lie. well i spent my friday in mo- val and that evening and saturday in riverside. OMeffingG. i seen my EX...my first boyfriend ever, my first love, my first everything. he's still in highschool...he stayed in extra year. wow. he must have really loved sherman. i couln't wait to get out of there for sure.
well he was seeling indian taco's with the kiva kings. i went there hoping anthony would be there to hook me up with some free food. i ended up just talking to him. it was small talk though. i wasn't really in a mood to be talking to him so yeah it was like whatever. but he was smiling and i just stood there, then he goes and says..."what no hug" ugh...i mean come on. i just stood there and was like how can you ask for a hug when you are sitting down. then i said...i'll give you a hug if you stand up...so he stood up. then we hugged. it was longer then i had wanted it to be and yeah. i don't know. i had no idea what i was feeling. i think i was just thinking about how lucky i am to have alex in my life and i was glad to finally be over gordon. but when i did leave the pow wow, i said bubye to pickett and anthony and i gave them both my posters...lol and gj was still sitting there. but when i said bye to him all i said was..." it was nice seeing you again, take care" then anthony and i just ssat and talked for a while. so yeah i love Alex very mucho...
- you know i'm no good | | |
| well its been a while since i have last posted anything. i just didn't
feel like it. i'm sure you know what i mean. i would log on, i just
couldn't bring myself to actually type anything. but here i am. i went
down to see alex this past weekend. i left saturday evening. i wasn't
really in a mood to drive 4 hours to go see him. but he kept telling me
that he wanted to see me. so i was like ok whatever, i'll go then. i
went and it was ok. i had fun. he told me he loved me and i told him
the same thing. its nice to know that he really does care about me. i
didn't think he would ever tell me that he felt that way. he really did
open up to me. yay. well all in all it was awsome speding time with him.
on
sunday we went to the movies. we were gonna go watch 300...but i
pointed out that he could go and watch that with his guy friend, then
we were gonna watch road hogs...i think thats what its called. well
when he was gonna purchase the tickets he gave the name of the
movie...then out of no where, i butt in and ask if she can change the
tickets to music and lyrics. she looks at me then at alex...then he was
like yeah i guess. i felt bad but i really wanted to see that movie
with him. when i looked at her again i saw her smiling under her
breath. then i was like aww alex i love you. well that movie was gaybut
i'm glad i seen it with him. i got to snuggle up close to him and kiss
him. aww...
but yeah all in all it was awsome...he rocks. | | |
| today is just kinda BLAH! | | |
| so i finally told Alex that i loved him last night...i feel so much better. he didn't react the way i thought he would...thank goodness. he basically said that he felt the same way...well he sent it in a texr message because i hung up on him right after i said it. i know lame. but i guess it comes with the teritory...well this is what he said...
"tell me over the phone too..... u are a wuss.
but i do. u mean a lot to me. i didn't expect this.
but sweetie u are more than i can hope to have."
but yeah...
I Love him...
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| well i realized that i am so a runner...i love to run, no matter where...its what i do...well last weekend i decided to run away to Las Vegas. so i did. my older brother lives there so he for sure hooked me up with a place to stay for a lil week. well it was nice not being bothered with any drama for a week. but when i came back, the drama was waiting for me with more piled on top. yay...NOT! ugh...well i know i just need to prayer more, and leave it with God. I have to have faith that he will indeed take care of me. that is one area i need to work on for sure. I also need to strengthen my realtionship with Christ. there is no excuse. but all in all i need to STOP running away from my porblems and i need to step up to them and face them face to face....
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